One of the most important things you can do to enhance your joy and understanding of being well is to keep a gratitude journal that you engage with every day. I say “engage with” because it is not a task to be done. It is a path to explore.
There is terrific research captured in the Yale Course, The Science of Well-being. You might be surprised by what they found. Being kind and talking to people improves your sense of happiness and self-care—exercise and good diet help. But one of the most important things you can do to enhance your joy and understanding of being well is to keep a gratitude journal that you engage with every day. I say “engage with” because it is not a task to be done. It is a path to explore.
In this time of burnout and frustration, take a moment and set aside time every day to write about things you are grateful for, either that day or at some point in the recent past. Think about it. If you capture three things, you can express gratitude for every day, times 365 days, you have a massive book of great feelings and appreciations that will make you smile and your sense of well-being soar—literally. Your mind awaits them.
Expressing gratitude, writing it in a journal, or taking other action is essential for your physical and emotional well-being. It is equally so for those you care about. The research is highly compelling. When you express appreciation and gratitude for someone or something, even for yourself, all kinds of beautiful things go on in your body.
On the one hand, expressions of gratitude reduce cortisol, the stress hormone in your brain. And it makes a warmth that comes over you as a feeling of positivity. It reduces your anxiety and has a chemical impact on your body and brain that makes you feel happy. And it’s okay to feel satisfied. Even happy!
The second thing it does is release a lot of oxytocin, the love hormone. Susan Ferguson, PhD, a neuroscientist at the Center for Integrative Brain Research at Seattle Children’s Research Institute, writes that “the feeling of gratitude activates several parts of the brain. The ventral tegmental area is a part of the brain associated with reward and motivation. The hypothalamus is associated with basic eating, sleeping, hormone secretion, and stress. The septum is associated with bonding. When we feel and express thanks, these parts of the brain light up.”
Oxytocin is the same hormone that builds bonding among people. Your expressions of gratitude help you make those bonds with others.
Expressions of gratitude also begin to open the blood vessels, reduce neurodegeneration in the brain, and do some very physical things to help your body feel better. People who express gratitude are known to eat better, exercise better, and put themselves in a place where they can be happier.
So, let’s try it. And as you write those gratitude thoughts down in that journal, think through something you’re doing for which you are grateful. It might be the same every day. Or it might be a new thought or a new experience that has just made a difference in your life that day. I love two or three at the end of the day, but you may have your way of doing it. Don’t “not do it.” Make sure you’re doing it because it’ll help you physically and emotionally feel better. And your well-being will soar, and so will your happiness.
What if You Are Not Good at Writing?
You can do other things that will help you improve your sense of well-being. Here are several that work well for our coaching clients and us:
1. Write a note to a client or a friend telling them how much you appreciate your business or relationship. It can be an email or a hand-written note. The medium is less important than the note. Make it an honest expression of appreciation and see what happens. Do one or two a day to start, and then let them expand to five. In this simple way, you are writing in your gratitude journal. You are sharing your thanks with those to whom you are thankful.
2. One action that often generates a feeling of gratitude is when someone helps you with a task. Perhaps the friend helped pick up the children at school. Or maybe they pitched in to assist you with a challenging job at the office. You said: “thank you.” But is there something else you can do to express your gratitude? Express your appreciation when you ask that friend how you can help them? Send them a simple note telling them how special it was to get their support. In days past, we might take them out to lunch. Or you might send them lunch. Action is so necessary to sustain that relationship.
3. Maybe your partner, spouse, or friend is having a challenging day. Maybe they need a hug. Perhaps you should take a walk together. Or is it time to share a meal or a coffee? A gentle nudge might be all that they need to push through the doldrums and smile again. Ask them how they are doing. Or suggest that they take a quiet walk for a while to break up the routine. Don’t say: “cheer up.” Try to keep it simple and soft. It is to pull them out of their stress, not add more stress to their day.
4. Self-appreciation isn’t bad either. It’s okay to say thank you to yourself at the end of the day. Maybe that self-appreciation is for changing a habit, or completing a task, or getting that to-do list completed.
Buddy Up!
Sometimes you might need a gratitude buddy, somebody you team up with who also understands the value of gratefulness for your well-being. Together, you can have a moment every day when you celebrate the good things that have happened.
I think it’s a great time to understand that it’s okay for you to allow yourself to be happy. And what gratitude does is enable you to do that.
About the Author
Andi Simon, PhD, author of Rethink: Smashing the Myths of Women in Business, is an international leader in the emerging field of corporate anthropology and founder and CEO of Simon Associates Management Consultants. A trained practitioner in Blue Ocean Strategy®, Simon has conducted over 400 workshops and speeches on the topic as well as consulted with a wide range of clients across the globe.
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